Originally written: Dr. Rick Brown, Dec 04, 2016

There are no strings on me

That song from the Disney movie Pinocchio keeps running through my head. It has been there for days dying to get out but I haven't had the energy to exorcise it. The chest tube was removed on Thursday. I was so looking forward to getting it out. The pain was becoming greater by the day which restricted all movement . Even laying down and breathing were becoming a chore.

Dr. Seder is a pleasant man with a kind loving eyes and an open heart. He trained directly under Dr. Wigle at Mayo (who did my surgery).That continuity of training and spirit were a comfort to me, even though I knew it was coming.

He sat on my left side (where the tube protruded). He said, "I understand you're a chiropractor, take a big breath in and let it out slowly." At this point I'm thinking that he is using techniques, like I do with my patients, to get me to relax. I'm also thinking, speed not power, speed not power, a dictum in chiropractic. He says, "take another breath and humm" as I do this I feel at tearing, white hot pain shoot through my body, no thought, just reaction. My wife said she had never heard me scream so loudly. She said "you clutched your chest and abdomen, your eyes filled with tears, and you begin pacing like a caged animal". My guess is that I let out a few choice words as well!

I was so glad to get those 3 feet of plastic tubing out of me. It was freeing, and yet, I was in more pain then than before. It took a couple of days to get past that. I have been sleeping a lot and waiting for my next dose of pain medication , but I can feel significant improvement day by day.

I'm stronger now than I have been since the surgery. I'm beginning to be able to move my upper body more comfortably. Where I had a spear running through my left chest from front to back ,that pain rather quickly morphed into a dagger only in the front, and now only moderate gripping periodically. Strength is returning to my arms and shoulder girdle. The pain medication schedule has lengthened to six hours from four.I can lift and scoot my trunk with my arms while sitting, and I am coughing without dread. I am tempted to experiment with other ways of laying (other than flat on my back).I need to develop that skill by Wednesday when they do the simulation for the radiation.

I will have to be strong enough to lay facedown in a CT tube for 45 minutes. It seems I'm on track to get there.I have at least a week after that to continue my recovery before the radiation starts.

The conundrum: what if the CT , which is done at the simulation, shows significant shrinking of my rectal tumor? I have been sticking to my program with great discipline and am (maybe falsely and overly optimistically ) seeing change. If that is the case, I face more decisions. Sometimes, I think, it's easier just to continue with the plan laid out; most of the time I want to do what's right for my body and spirit. It's that territory in between that is so difficult to navigate.

Well, one thing at a time.